Guest Post: When the Floor Drops

Last week we had a guest post on having the rug pulled out from under you. This week I'm excited to present another guest post on impermanence from a friend and Sangha member. Wingy describes the painful experience of groundlessness after losing his job, his desire to escape, and then the inspiration gained from letting the situation be. Good thing Wingy started meditating or he'd just be another angry guy on the street!

I got fired. Well, I was asked to resign. Being “separated from the organization” is the clinical term.  As with any time that the floor drops out from beneath you, it comes unexpectedly and leaves you spinning.

This was 4 months ago. I had been meditating for about 1.5 years. You hear people talk about “groundlessness” and it all sounds pretty good in theory. You let go, allow yourself to be present in the moment with whatever arises, not clinging to habitual patterns or reference points. But nothing teaches you groundlessness like the actual experience of not having any clue what just happened or how you’re going to respond.

The Meditating Congressman

Meditation: congressmen and kids do it

The other night I went to hear Congressman Tim Ryan talk about his meditation practice, his new book called A Mindful Nation, and why mindfulness practice makes sense in American schools, our military, and just about every institution. It was empowering to see someone in the most quintessentially mainstream institution in America talking about mindfulness. It gave me hope that meditation is no longer just a fringe practice for punks and hippies to keep secret when they grow up and get real jobs. 

Congressman Ryan pointed out that the Marines are studying and using meditation. Schools in his district of Youngstown and Warren, Ohio are using meditation and seeing test scores improve dramatically. Google and Proctor & Gamble teach it to employees. The Cleveland Clinic is using it with patients and seeing speedier recoveries. Even coach Phil Jackson of the LA Lakers and the Chicago Bulls has been teaching it to his players, so they can use it to get their minds in the game.

The Way in is the Way out

An old friend told me he felt like something was missing in his life. He talked about filling a void. He took a new job thinking that would solve it. But the void was still there. He talked about his lack of mindfulness, his habit of over-eating and the way he always feels like having the TV on to fill the silence.

I can relate to feeling like there is something missing. This is what led me to meditation. But what I've come to realize through the practice of meditation, is that this feeling of emptiness, which we might refer to as a void, is not the problem.

How Can I Meditate When the World Is Suffering?

How do we stop climate change?

I just aided a weekend workshop at the DC Shambhala Center and one of the students raised a great question, something every social activist or engaged Buddhist has struggled with. The question went something like this: "how can I justify sitting on a cushion when others are suffering?"

There is no strategy for ending homelessness or saving the world in Buddhism. There is no formula, no sense that you should do this, or not do that. There is no way you are supposed to feel.

Three Reasons I'm Still On the Path

After about 5 years of meditating like my life depended on it, I hit a wall. For the past two months, getting my butt on the cushion has been a struggle and a constant internal negotiation process. Summer felt good. Life felt good. Samsara didn't seem so bad. I started asking myself why was I meditating so much.

I realized I had done most of the things I originally wanted to achieve through meditation. I meditated for a whole month this spring, and that felt like an achievement. I've experienced more

Samsara Doesn't Seem So Bad

When I was about 20 my dad took me on a kayaking trip to coincide with the whale migration off the coast of Baja California. I had a kayak with a rudder that I could steer. Every time I got off course, I'd make an adjustment to the rudder. Then I'd get off course the other way and I'd make another adjustment.  Pretty soon I was zig zagging into the middle of the Gulf of California, trying to keep up with my dad who cruised along in a straight line, with half the exertion. 

These days my meditation practice feels a bit like I felt on that kayak, trying to keep myself moving from point A to point B, but struggling. I just got back from 6 weeks working abroad, during which I cut back on my meditation practice to accommodate a busy schedule. I've returned home struggling to get back into my normal routine, finding my mind scattered and my inspiration lacking.

Learning to Observe

It helps to think about why I spend so much time meditating. I ask myself this question at the beginning of every sitting. I come up with a different answer every day. Sometimes I want to slow my thoughts. Sometimes I want to be useful to people. Sometimes I want my mind to be as sharp as a sword.

But a question I ask myself less often is, "what is meditation for?" I just saw this video with Jetsun Khandro Rinpoche, where she offers a simple reminder that meditation is about becoming familiar with the mind and learning to observe the mind.