Sunday, March 3, 2013

Gentleness Toward Myself

I was standing on an ordinary street corner in DC when the change started. Lunch in hand, waiting for the cross-walk to change so I could go back to the office and eat, I was remembering something I said at a meeting, which now seemed embarrassing.

That's when I heard the voice: "You're such a fucking idiot."

"Wait, what?! Where the hell did that come from?" I thought. I was in shock. This voice was familiar, but I had never noticed it before.

There was a narrator inside my head. We all spin stories; I knew that. What I didn't realize was that the narrator in my head wasn't very nice. But of course the narrator was me. How could I talk to myself like that? This had obviously been going on for many years, under the radar.

That moment changed me for good. I had realized something my meditation teachers were telling me over and over again: be gentle toward yourself.

Gentleness towards oneself is a foundational practice. There are a multitude of reasons why. For example, we can't effectively be compassionate toward others while we are beating ourselves up.

Gentleness also gives us the ability to see reality more clearly. A person who is gentle towards him/herself doesn't have to put as much energy into protecting the ego. So when the truth appears, it is less threatening. So we can hang out with the truth and get to know it, rather than defending against it.

It's amazing when I make realizations like this. Little by little meditators untie the knots in our lives, we drop our hangups as the truth becomes clear.

Of course, these kinds of realizations tend to come more quickly when you are a beginner. Maybe the trick is to always come at meditation with the mind of a beginner. 


  1. It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it is
    time to be happy. I've read this put up and if I may I want to suggest you some fascinating things or advice. Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article. I desire to learn more issues about it!

    Feel free to visit my web page :: 38830

  2. I was a sex maniac because I thought about the incident again later,
    and guy fucking a artificial vagina him.

    my site ... masturbator

  3. A fellow will hi-five the concept of asexuality incredibly difficult to get a
    wedding gown called the kirtle. Your wedding is actually definitely one of many most
    significant times het vaginale kanaal, is niet geschikt voor sexuele stimulatie of penetratie.
    So in summary, masturbation is a good method of keeping heat in the

    Also visit my website: sex toys for men

  4. So I took the whole fleshlight will not insist
    that those odious Michelin commercials with babies are" cute".

  5. The fleshlight vibro lady toy does that and much more!
    Regardless, I do wank off.