Three Reasons I'm Still On the Path

After about 5 years of meditating like my life depended on it, I hit a wall. For the past two months, getting my butt on the cushion has been a struggle and a constant internal negotiation process. Summer felt good. Life felt good. Samsara didn't seem so bad. I started asking myself why was I meditating so much.

I realized I had done most of the things I originally wanted to achieve through meditation. I meditated for a whole month this spring, and that felt like an achievement. I've experienced more

Samsara Doesn't Seem So Bad

When I was about 20 my dad took me on a kayaking trip to coincide with the whale migration off the coast of Baja California. I had a kayak with a rudder that I could steer. Every time I got off course, I'd make an adjustment to the rudder. Then I'd get off course the other way and I'd make another adjustment.  Pretty soon I was zig zagging into the middle of the Gulf of California, trying to keep up with my dad who cruised along in a straight line, with half the exertion. 

These days my meditation practice feels a bit like I felt on that kayak, trying to keep myself moving from point A to point B, but struggling. I just got back from 6 weeks working abroad, during which I cut back on my meditation practice to accommodate a busy schedule. I've returned home struggling to get back into my normal routine, finding my mind scattered and my inspiration lacking.