Love and Heartbreak Feel the Same

Susan Piver

Think about that statement: "love and heartbreak feel the same." Susan Piver said these words during a dharma talk at the DC Shambhala Center last Thursday. I think she's onto something. When I stop to contemplate the love I feel for my wife, my parents, my friends or a pet, I feel an aching in my heart. It is literally a physical feeling.

Susan also said that the difference between love and heartbreak is that, "heartbreak is love unbound from an object." The object of that love could be someone who is gone now. It could be someone you have a crush on. It could even be the image in your mind of you with your dream job.

There is your mind and there is an object. In between there is a tender feeling like a heart breaking in two.

How to Wire Your Brain for Love

Romantic love is a myth, perpetuated by Hollywood and a fascination with the idea that someone else will come along and save us from our suffering. Acharya Judith Simmer-Brown from Naropa University says romantic love has become like a religious cult in Western culture. She says, "Romantic love, no matter how delicious, is the primary symptom of cultural malaise, the central neurosis of Western civilization." But that isn't the same thing as saying there is no such thing as love. 

I just read a great article in the Atlantic about the biology of love, the myth of romantic love, and the scientifically documented benfits of loving kindness meditation. The article comes out of