Putting a Rock on a Leaf: 4 Steps to Beginning a Meditation Session

In Turning the Mind into an Ally, Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche describes the act of starting your meditation session with intention. He says it is, "like putting a rock on a leaf." It's really helpful for me to conjure this image whenever I'm starting my sitting meditation practice. It is firm and gentle at the same time, the way you would tell a child not to pull a dog's tail. This is exactly the type of mindset one needs to cultivate in meditation.

Making sure that your practice starts out right from the first few seconds of a sitting session has a strong effect on the rest of your meditation. Lately, I've paired the image of the rock on a leaf with several steps to make sure the rock is firmly on the leaf. It helps ensure that my mind isn't blown away by thoughts, at least not right at the beginning of a session (that can happen!).

Three Things I Learned at Dathun

I learned a whole lot of things at the mostly silent 28 day meditation retreat called dathun, from which I just returned. I learned that Mahakala (the fearsome Tibetan protector deity known for severing the heads of those who pervert the Dharma) loves his daily shrine offering of Cheerios. Sometimes he gets Rice Crispies too. I learned that eating all of your meals in the Zen Oryoki style can take a few inches off your muffin-top; and little screw-ups during Oryoki can leave a room full of people helplessly giggling. In a dathun you can totally mess with people by putting terrible songs into their heads. I also learned that getting to know people without talking to them is an amazing way to notice things about how your mind works. But of all the things I learned, there are three big ones that I wanted to share with you, so here goes...

Going on Dathun

I won't be online for a few weeks because I am going on a dathun, which is a month-long meditation retreat. I'll be waking up at 6:30am and then meditating for most of the day, with periods for meals, chores and hearing teachings and instructions. 


According to the Shambhala website: 


Dathün (Tibetan for "month session") is a one-month group meditation retreat lead by a senior teacher.  It is open to anyone and is a very powerful introduction and deepening of mindfulness-awareness meditation... Silence and functional talking are observed throughout the day.  Meals are served in the shrine room oryoki-style, a practice of mindful eating taken from the Zen tradition. There is regular individual instruction with trained meditation instructors.


This is something I've been planning for and looking forward to for years. I'm not sure I know what to expect. I'm kind of in it to go along for the ride, which I've found is a good way to approach things like this. 

Engaged Buddhism: Working with Aggression

Thic Quang Duc set himself on fire in 1963 to protest
the persecution of monks  in Vietnam.

The first time I heard the term "engaged Buddhism" I was immediately turned on by the idea. My punk rock sensibilities imagined bringing Buddhism to the streets. The whole image seemed at odds with itself. This was not about sitting in a cave, detached from the world, but about being an activist... ROCK 'n ROLL! 

But I have to admit that when I started researching it, I might have been disappointed to learn that engaged Buddhism is not all about standing up to The Man. Engaged Buddhism is not an excuse to use aggression for the forces of "good." Engaged Buddhism is the practice of working with aggression in the world.

Complaining Complainers Who Complain

Chogyam Trungpa said that irritation is the vanguard of basic goodness, or so I've heard from some of his students. In standard English, this means that when you find yourself irritable, you should stick with the feeling and not try to escape it by badmouthing your situation. If you you can be present with the raw feeling, without stories and justifications, you may be rewarded with an experience of the mind and the heart opening. You might see something beautiful... human... maybe even sacred.

I've had this experience a few times, where I'm walking down the street, trying to shake a negative emotion, hearing the story in my mind, and then something wakes me up. I see the bigger picture all of a sudden. Sometimes I have to laugh. Other times, I just shake my head in wonder. Unfortunately, there are many more times when I don't wake up and the negative emotion leads to complaints, stories, unnecessary conflicts.

We all get irritated and we all complain. We complain about traffic, about work, about our friends, about our lack of a friends... it seems like there is always something to complain about, even if it never solves anything.

Wax on Wax off

The other night I attended a talk with Lodro Rinzler, who was in DC on a tour for his new book, The Buddha Walks into a Bar. I was selling books while he signed copies and a woman came up to him and told him what a hard time she was having with her health and her family. She asked, "does it get easier?" He looked at her in a way that I knew he was listening with an open heart. "Yes, I think it does," he said.

I often think of meditation practice as a "two steps forward, one step back" situation. If we set our minds to it, we can develop a fulfilling practice with great discipline. This discipline can extend out to the rest of our lives so that we gain real insights and feel we are on the right track. Then something happens: we get hooked by our emotions, we lose our tempers, someone offends us, our sense of openness closes down and we want to tear our heart out and stomp on it…. or as I like to say, "the fit hits the shan."

6 Ways to Approach Lust and Monogamy

Jeff Bridges (who is a Buddhist and a big fan of Chogyam Trungpa) did an interview with Tricycle Magazine in 2010. He described how he develops intimacy with the actors he works with, which leads to convincing performances. He discussed how his wife allows him to develop these deep relationships and how there is no sex involved, because then it would just get weird.

This interests me because I've often had a sad feeling about being in a relationship, since it seems like you aren't supposed to be curious about or attracted to anyone other than your current partner. Inevitably, I have been curious, and often this feeling made me feel like I needed to put a leash on myself and nip the whole thing in the bud.